I am a hospital. Which hospital am I.............??

I am a hospital - which hospital am I ?........................

  • I position myself at the furthest point of the borough away from you making you use the busiest thoroughfare  ensuring you are late to your appointment.
  • On your arrival I insist that you live at an address you vacated 20 years ago. When you implore me to check again I will be amazed to  find a second set of notes for you - with the correct address - but with a date of birth that ages you 10 years. I will giggle when that is pointed out.
  • For your entertainment, whilst you wait 45 minutes beyond your appointment time, I will enthrall you with intimate excerpts from the lives of my staff. You will find out what they are doing at the weekend, how their relationships are fareing and what they will be shopping for for tea.
  • I will adorn my walls with all manner of wall coverings - including striped, dotted and patterened wallpaper, together with the ubiquitous border strip, to trick you into thinking that you are not in a clinical area - but are actually in someone's cosy front room. I will not care that this is a veneer at best and, at worst, a dingy back room that speaks of neglect and abuse.
  • To take your mind off the wait and the decor I will bombard you with advertisements on a looped tv screen presentation that tells you of all of my many achievements - that we wash our hands, that we have been free of MRSA for 100 days in a row and that our porters walk 7 miles a day (just because the lady loves milktray? ).
  • Before you exit - whilst I cunningly detain you so that you spend more on the carpark - I will ensure that you are not quick to leave by building sleeping policeman in your path that are so high they would scrape an elephant's wedding tackle.

I am a hospital. Which hospital am I............................????

Comments

Jackie T said…
That was cruel. Could the hospital answer back? No!

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