10 Lessons learned........

In theory, the flutter of a butterfly's wings in China could effect weather patterns thousands of miles away. In other words, it is possible that a very small occurance can produce unpredictable and sometimes drastic results by triggering a series of increasingly significant events.So, in light of this - I wonder what type of butterfly has been producing the chaos that has been my life for about the last month!!

For 6 years we have been debating what to do with the kitchen - it's the last room in the house to be overhauled, but it has always proven too hard to decide. Should we extend? Should we move a window, should we move the garage etc etc....! Always too hard so stick with it - an oven that only cooks food on the left hand side, a hob ignition that bites your finger everytime you try to light it, a cooker hood that belongs in a kitchen 5 times the size and gives you concussion and a sink that only a contortionist could use - to name a few minor faults!!

Eventually we took the bull by the horns and got a designer in. Ahh bliss... good design, quality products and a reassurance that all I had to do was sit back and watch the kitchen materialise before my very eyes.

Lesson #1: Designers will tell you anything to sell you a kitchen
Lesson#2: Once a control freak always a control freak!
Lesson#3: Whilst kind of knew this really - I live with a catastrophiser!

Kitchen agreed, we sat back to wait for the surveyor to check all was well and a date was set for installation.

Surveyor nearly had apoplexy when we said that we wanted to take out the kitchen, plaster, paint and lay a floor before installation. Apparently he'd "never had such conversations with a customer before" and told us we were "worrying unnecessarily". Floors and paintwork could be damaged by installers - I did ask if Laurel and Hardy were coming - he didn't seem to have a sense of humour! His idea of a satisfactory arrangement was for us to take top cupboards out, plaster to the worktop and sit back.
At this point, husband and surveyor started sniping monosyllabically - "new cupboards", "masking tape" etc, I offered tea!

Lesson#4: Don't leave husband alone with surveyor
Lesson #5: Tea doesn't always cure all ills

Surveyor left, we decided it's our kitchen so ripped it out anyway, plastered, painted - but left the floor. Stress levels rising:
Lesson #6: You don't realise how much stuff you have in a kitchen til you come to empty and pack up
Lesson #7: Ensuring the order of jobs requires more project management skills than first realised.
Lesson #8: not everything will be delivered - setting off husband's catastrophic tendencies once again

Installation Day arrives - hooray! Electrics illegal - boo! Electrical inspector says "yes" - hooray! External wall wet through - boo! Damp proof people with certificate disappeared - double boo!! New damp proof company prepared to come in and sort it - hooray! Will need to strip off plaster just paid lots of money for -boo! Kitchen fitter goes home. Stress levels slowly rising, husband's catastrophic tendency vindicated.
Lesson#9: Nothing is ever straightforward
Lesson#10: Husband is annoying when proven right!!

So, to date, I have had a field kitchen in my dining room for nearly a month. The kitchen stuff is piled up in every room in the house. I cook on a camping stove in the garden (when dry - takeaway when wet - horray for rain!). I am washing smalls in the bath (ahh heady memories of the student life...) and will need to go to the launderette soon. A feeling of deja-vue permeates the house as we watch more plaster dry in the race to get it painted before the fitter's return on monday.

Just as I thought nothing else could possibly go wrong I reversed into a bollard and smashed the back of the car - now in garage and I'm on public transport.
Is the butterfly season over yet????