Of Freedom, Dame Maggie and knowing that leggings are the work of Satan
This week marks the one month anniversary since I retired - it feels both possible and impossible that one month has passed.
Lesson #1: I may be turning into Dame Maggie
I am learning that I don't have to do everything all at once, I am definitely slowing my pace - which is a good thing. The days blend into one and I find I'm doing the Senior Moment narrative of "what day is it"? From looking at a calendar/diary eleventy-two times a day to ensure I was where I should be at any given moment, I now find I forget to look and have had a couple of near misses with family birthdays - but caught them just in time- phew!
I find I am becoming a bit Dame Maggie in Downton Abbey - "what is a weekend?"
I thought I would be a "lady who lunches" that I would be spending time visiting family in Lincolnshire, Nottinghamshire, Cambridgeshire, Hertfordshire and France and that I would at least have been able to get to my Norfolk soul home at least once - but alas - COVID19 restrictions and now an imminent second lockdown mean that I have been able to do none of these things.
I still feel the need for some structure and routine and like to set myself tasks/goals to be achieved in a day/week. These have mostly consisted of christmas gift shopping (online and in real world), christmas gift making and trying out new skills in many "how hard can it be" moments.
The main thing that is keeping my focus is my new found hobby of vlogging (video blogging for the uninitiated). I am still finding my "voice" as in, 'what can I offer that people will want to watch?' My audience is small at the moment with only 20 subscribers to my channel (Ichabod's Day on YouTube and IGTV - Instagram) and an average of about 35-40 views per video. I will admit this seems a little disheartening- but I am assured this is quite normal when trying to grow an audience. You Tube have algorithms that seem to be key to sharing videos and bringing new audiences in - so I'm starting to learn a little about that too (never too old!!). The type of videos I like to make offer a bit of "doing" and a bit of "informative history/fact" but I wonder if that's what people want to see? I would welcome any comments if you have time. I have had suggestions about hair style tutorials, more on my book collection, growing and using herbs, all of which I am happy to do.
In October I filmed and edited material for one video a week. This month (November) I intend to alternate between a blog and a vlog - so that I can indulge my interest in writing too! I have interesting plans for December which I'll tell you about nearer the time - in the meantime if you would like to, please go and subscribe to my channel and click the notifications bell icon to be alerted when I upload a video, this will allow the said algorithms to start kicking in - thanks so much for your support, even if you don't care to subscribe but would just like to watch the videos.
Lesson #3: Freedom from mis-placed guilt is liberating
Yesterday was the first time I had to set my alarm (car due for MOT) - and I will admit to being a little disgruntled! So much so that, as usual, I awoke before the alarm after a restless night, I guess something to do with control freakery possibly and not trusting the alarm to a) work or b) be heard.
I realised that this was possibly either the first occasion (or at least in a list of limited occasions) when I have taken my car for the MOT without feeling guilty for being on a "work day". There has never been a need to feel guilty in the past, I know that my work commitments were such that I was owed lots of time, flexible working meant that such things were OK, and a Drift of line managers (looked up collective nouns - there isn't one for managers but a Drift of Lecturers comes close - and I liked it!) had always supported wellbeing and flexible working. Anyway, I realised how good it is to be out and about for as long as I liked without competing demands, misplaced guilt or anything else pulling me back to responsibilities.
Lesson #4: Rational behaviour is abandoning me/Leggings are the work of Satan
As mentioned I took my car for its MOT, usually I book a full service at the same time - but this year the car has hardly been used so it was decided just MOT & winter checks. This meant that instead of leaving the car with the garage all day (in which case I would go home and await a call) it was only going to take a couple of hours, so I decided to have a mooch around the local town near to the garage.
This is what you need to bear in mind before reading the next bit:-
a) I have 3 sizes of clothes in my wardrobe:
Relatively large: pre-diabetes
Relatively small: post diagnosis and active engagement in healthy eating
Relatively medium: since finding various loop holes between healthy vs blood sugar spikes
b) Leggings are the work of Satan. Since lockdown, comfy has been the order of the day - leggings lead you into a false sense of security (they did this to me in the 1980's too when they first appeared!) so much so that I can now officially _not_ get into the Relatively small section of my wardrobe
c) I determined to do something about this.
So, back to mooching - here is an example of how rational behaviour is deserting me:
Me, thinking: Oh cafe - that's a good way to spend a bit of time whilst I wait. Coffee would be just the ticket
Also Me, in the queue, thinks : Mmmm cappuccino without the chocolate sprinkles methinks
Me, ordering: "Full English breakfast and a cup of tea please"
????!!!!!!**** really!!!
Thanks for reading - see you again soon.....
Angela
If you are interested in reading the blogs taking me through the full journey please see the links here:
Post 1: Hurtling gently towards retirement
https://ichabodsday.blogspot.com/2020/08/hurtling-gently-towards-retirement.html
Post 2: The final countdown
https://ichabodsday.blogspot.com/2020/09/its-final-countdown.html
Post 3: Start where you are and change the ending
https://ichabodsday.blogspot.com/2020/10/start-where-you-are-and-change-ending.html
Post 4: Of distractions, structure and productivity
https://ichabodsday.blogspot.com/2020/10/of-distractions-structure-and.html
Post 5: Of Freedom, Dame Maggie and knowing that leggings are the work of Satan
https://ichabodsday.blogspot.com/2020/11/of-freedom-dame-maggie-and-knowing-that.html
Comments
Just subscribed to your YouTube too - you should be honoured though- first subscription on YouTube ever!!