Sentimental, Nostalgic or Wise?

I often refer to myself as an amateur archivist, a memory gatherer or story teller.  Wikipedia defines archivist as  "an information professional who assesses, collects, organizes, preserves, maintains control over, and provides access to records and archives determined to have long-term value".

Being amateur my "realm" is a more personal collection. Mostly family documents over the generations and of course photographs. 

Many wonder why I do this, I sometimes wonder myself and often explain that it is important to me to document and recreate  experiences through creating. I also feel as though I am compelled to document a level of family and social history for future generations........ and  I enjoy the process of curation itself,  telling a story and the feeling of closure that this brings knowing that a memory has been stored safely away (not really a control freak!!) 

It is often said that,  at the end, all we have left are the memories - but I now know that this is not true!

I have recently become more aware, due to dementia of a close family member, that in fact, memories, carefully curated stories, defining moments of a life, shared experiences and values, family identity all can dissolve and disappear bit by bit or overnight. 

Memory itself is not to be trusted, it is intangible, " it is an interpretation of time and context and can fall foul of any number of hinderances that warp or hinder the process. If a memory is left alone for a long time, it may blur and eventually be forgotten and fade away."  " https://research-information.bris.ac.uk/en/projects/tangible-memories

Having something tangible to aid my memory can only be a good thing right?

 

I have taken photographs since I was given an old box brownie when I was 10 years old. On most occasions I can be seen with a camera in my hand and have gone from box brownie, through cartridge cameras of the 80's (126/110 cassette films), to digital and now mostly iPhone. Of course, I have kept all of these cameras too (an archivist and a collector - or some might say hoarder!). In the age of digital photos I still print out a selection each year for my photo albums. 

 

Scrap books memory trunk

I keep a scrap book, curating events - mostly personal but sometimes larger events (eg Brexit, Coronavirus, 200 year birthday of Jane Austen etc). I also ferret away small items imbued with memory and keep in my cabinet of curiosities in the hope that these too may stir a memory and , as you know by reading this, I also write (and now vlog) about experiences and memories.  

My Cabinet of Curiosities

Memories are mostly social in nature - that smell, those sounds usually conjure up the memory of a person or an event involving others or a time where belonging was experienced and therefore deserve to be shared. Maybe I have been creating my own memory box without realising it? 

Sally Magnusson has shared her experiences of care giving with her Mum who had dementia. Much of what she describes had great resonance with the values and process of occupational therapy finding ways  to adapt and engage in valued  activities  in ways that are purposeful, satisfying and useful. However, she  explains that some memories can serve to draw attention to what can no longer be engaged in, activities that a loved one enjoyed earlier in life may now cause them a great deal of confusion and even agitation or frustration. I wonder what I may think in the future of my present memories recorded. I will admit already to looking at some photos and having limited (or no) recollection of either the memory or the details surrounding it. Without context I wonder how useful they will remain in the future, maybe I need to ensure that I give more context in my archive? 

One could question whether keeping safe so many memories encourages a negative behaviour of living in the past, and collecting memories means that one can never fully appreciate the "now". A little like experiencing an event through the lens of a camera as is so often seen today with social media etc ( I am a little guilty of this). However, the pleasure the process and the end result gives me and the knowledge that I leave a legacy of family and social history is a positive for me. I have occasionally been called  sentimental or nostalgic -as though this were a bad thing! I did a bit of a google search and found this blog post:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-love-and-war/201605/5-surprising-reasons-you-should-look-back-your-past

In it, Julia Breines states that originally nostalgia, coming from the Greek words nostos (homecoming) and algos (pain) was often seen as a negative homesickness or bitter sweet pain, a sentimental longing for one's past. However she mentions research  that suggests that engaging in nostalgic thoughts can be mood enhancing - with a warning that we need to focus not on what we have lost, but what we have gained and gives an example of sharing stories with old friends/family and thinking about how these have shaped our "now".

For those questioning the significance of their lives, nostalgia can help add meaning and construct what she calls "redemption narratives" where we can consider triumph over adversary etc. She offers some useful links out to articles which may be worth a read - some are accessible. However, she makes it clear that is it important to be forming new memories.

So, for now, I shall continue to make, curate, document and share my memories in the hope that they may help now or further down the line when needed.