"I am not rich, I am not rich"............

Over the last few weeks I have been an accidental tourist at 2 ends of the country (well not extreme ends but oop north and daaarn south really). The first occasion was in Manchester - now I know I only live about 12 miles away but I rarely visit - daft really as I could catch the bus into Piccadilly Gardens from right outside my house. Anyway, we were looking for somewhere to go one saturday with Dad and his friend Sandra and being one of the better days of the last few weeks we decided we wanted to be outside ( rather than the Trafford Centre). So, duly caught the bus and joined the hordes. Actually we had a lovely day. We walked to Selfridges and whilst looking round the food hall decided to have lunch at the Champagne Bar (and pretend to be sophisticated). We then went outside and went for a trip on the Manchester Eye (like London but smaller!). A quick stop at Hotel Chocolat, a walk round the farmer's market and time spent watching children run in and out of the water feature at Piccadilly Gardens and the day was complete. I felt like a proper tourist.

Then, at the end of last week we were presenting the final milestone for the Yo-Yo Consultancies project we have been working on with COT in London. Caught an early train to make sure we arrived on time - and booked ourselves into an hotel to make the most of the trip and have a bit of sightseeing before coming home ( oh and maybe a bit of shopping!). Friend and business partner had been bemoaning "fatness" for a few weeks (she's not!) so trying to point out the error of her ways I pointed out that a pigeon nearby was fat - she was not! Didn't take too kindly to inferred suggestion that she was like a pigeon and continued to name and shame me on Facebook whilst I was unable to defend self being without internet access ( we don't all have iPhones!!).
Presentation duly delivered and complete we hailed a taxi (a very liberating experience) - business partner doesn't do public transport or underground- to take us to the hotel. Interestingly we booked hotel on the internet from a "lucky dip" experience, ie you agree to not know which hotel you're booking and they promise to give you a good deal on a decent hotel.
Of course we knew finally before we got there and it was The Cumberland near Marble Arch. Gary Rhodes' restaurant is attached to it - but the menu was slightly bizarre. This time it was me being "quirky" not liking strange combinations of food eg artichoke brazed in snail juice etc etc (not that that was on the menu but it might have well have been).
Anyway, dumped bags in room ( v posh) then went down to bar for celebration drink - glass of champagne and Tequila Sunrise and 2 sandwiches - £51!!!! Ah well - we were celebrating the end of the project.
Went for a brief walk down Oxford Street/Road - never sure which is which and ended up having a make-over in Selfridges - and then buying makeup which I didn't need - but does seem very nice. Chinese meal for dinner then back to hotel for nightcap and off to bed - exhausted.
After checking out next day walked through Hyde Park - really lovely actually - although Speaker's Corner was closed - did suggest maybe we should just start a speech on something but wasn't particularly well received. Tried to find the Diana memorial - followed signs until "friend" made us take a detour daring me to ask two oncoming policemen if I could take their photo! Didn't take up the dare and was branded a wuss! Anyway the detour meant that we got lost and must have walked past memorial - decided we weren't that bothered and sat watching the activity on the Serpentine for a while. Did suggest a pedalo - but was told of an incident from childhood involving boats and water that had scarred for life - so that was declined too.
Walked through towards Knightsbridge to the V&A museum. Intended to take in culture! I can confess that said culture consisted of paddling in the pool in the courtyard, drinking coffee, visiting the gift shop, looking round a temporary exhibit on fairy tales as concept furniture (I think!) - didn't get it - (am a philistine as has been proven already with my ballet experience!). Then looked round fashion through the ages, decided we were possibly hungry and weren't that interested in looking at anything else (both philistines by this point).
Having looked in the V&A food hall - stunning - we decided that we weren't that hungry yet and so walked down to Harrods. Now by this time my mantra had become "I am not rich, I am not rich!" and asking said friend to remind me occasionally of this fact having become infatuated with living the high life!
Harrods tea room was the next stop - and I had a cake I can't remember the name of but bloomin' gorgeous. Hailed a taxi to go to Selfridges on Oxford Street/Road as the taxi arrived the doorman came to open the door and welcome us to the store (" I am not rich, I am not rich").
We were soon in a taxi heading for the station to await the train home. I can promise you that maybe four conversations only were held from about 5pm to 8pm when we arrived back in Manchester - we were completely shattered - but in a good way!!!